Dating as a 40 year old is fun.
Said no one ever.
Don’t get me wrong I’ve collected some really interesting stories. At first I thought were shocking but now I realize are actually incredibly predictable.
My experiences with dating have mostly been in the online realm and people I know like to remind me “this is how you meet people these days.”
I don’t like it.
I’ve tried a variety of sites. Tinder when it’s a Friday night and I’m bored or with girlfriends and we want to laugh. I’ve paid the money on eharmony, match.com, elite singles. And for the most part it’s all the same typical scenario. Which can I just point out why would someone pay the money and then act like a douche canoe? Cheaper than a lap dance at a strip club perhaps?
Here’s a synopsis of my favourite experiences:
The yes I’m super interested in meeting up with you let’s plan something but I’m never actually going to follow through and I’m just going to ghost you. one. (okay ghosting is probably a little premature but you get what I mean.)
The hour before our meet up I’m going to send you a text to tell you to “wear something sexy like a sundress that shows off your body.” (I responded with a polite I’ve changed my mind good luck in your search.)
The we had two really fun, seemingly healthy dates that turned into “let’s go to this sex club in Toronto.” (I may have went).
The I’m going to just spend the evening complaining about my ex partner and the amount of child support I have to pay. (I don’t care about the history between you – you pay her that support to take care of YOUR children and you do not complain).
The let me find a pic with my build… one sec and then BAM naked pic (I did not reciprocate but replied with a “no because I’m really a 55 year old drag queen named Bob”, and no hate on Bob the Drag Queen who I actually adore and think is brilliant.)
This is why I’ve jumped into dating with both feet and immediately jumped right back out because the water is frigid and uncomfortable.
I’m not a prude. I’m a lot of fun, I’m a professional, and Bipolar Disorder aside, I’ve actually got my shit together. I’m funny and fierce and loyal. But maybe the universe is telling me it’s not my time yet.
So excuse me while I go get my favourite drink from Starbucks and wander along the aisles at Indigo secretly waiting to bump into someone with like minded values so I can leave all the very typical, highly predictable online dating profiles behind.
Oh yeah and I’ve added to my current dating profile, “don’t send me naked pics or i’m going to write about it on my blog.”