… or at least it use to be. I’m sitting here typing this post instead of running because my earbuds are charging. They are totally dead because it’s been months and months and months since I’ve gone for a run. Letting them charge is really a distraction because I’m terrified to lace up and get out there. I’m starting over. 5K interval training and it’s deflating.
I use to be really good at running. I mean really good! My fastest 5K was sub 30 minutes. I ran 10K with ease under an hour and my longest distance was a half marathon. I had aspirations to run Around the Bay 30K and then a full marathon.
When I wasn’t well mentally I didn’t lean into running. I gave it up. I just couldn’t find the space within my heart to keep going. I was also a new single mom and trying to navigate that so running felt like one more thing instead of something I loved. So I quit. I mean I’d pick it up here and there but I just couldn’t get it back into a consistent schedule.
This morning I got dressed into running clothes to motivate myself to go on my lunch break. I’m scared. I really am. I know I’m going to be bad at it but I also know I’ll get better.
This running journey isn’t the same as my last one. For one thing I’m older so my body will respond to it differently. I’m coming off of a tobogganing accident where I hurt my knee so I need to go easy. Different goals and priorities will develop. The kids are older and more independent and when they come with me now they can keep up on bikes and scooters. I have an amazing, supportive partner who I know will encourage and cheer me on.
Running isn’t my superpower. It isn’t what makes me fabulous. My superpower is me. My ability to face challenges and overcome them. My superpower is my strength and my courage. I will run again. My earbuds are likely charged enough for me to get out there and face this run head on.