It’s been quite some time since my last post. It’s been an intentional break. Not because life has been horrible or too busy – it is busy though. Not because I’ve had nothing to say. Simply because I needed space.
I think that when you reveal things you need to let it sit there and breathe.
I wasn’t worried that my sharing would cause a lot of judgement because let’s face it, it’s human nature to judge and I’ve been judged on far less than a hospitalization or an affair or undeniably irrational behaviour fueled by mental illness.
I wasn’t worried that people wouldn’t understand because the right people for me would seek to understand and that by sharing I could help others on their journeys to understand.
I wasn’t worried that my family would be disappointed in me because the family members I am close with would also seek to understand.
So truly the space came from a place of need time to sit with it before I continued.
I am in a good place. I’m not ashamed of my story or my truth. I’m proud of myself for finding and using my voice. It was done fearfully at first but now it carries a lot weight behind it. I don’t feel shame for how I acted during the downward spiral of my mental illness. Those people who don’t understand it, well that’s their journey not mine. However if you don’t understand it, you need to seek to understand because at some point someone close to you will be struggling and will need your support.
I am on my comeback tour. I’m in a place where I understand that black and white thinking is harmful. That the grey area is far more accurate and compassionate. That you can hold multiple truths about a person or a situation. That perception of reality has way more to do with anything than reality itself.
I have a lot of content in my head to share. I have even started a few posts but I wasn’t ready to put them out yet.
But I’m back. I can breathe again and I can share.
Oh one thing that’s excited I officially have the domain http://www.thebipolarblonde.ca